She looked her mother in the eyes. Her body was all there. When she hugged her, she felt her mothers grasp and warmth. In her mothers eyes, she did not look the same. When her mother spoke, it did not sound like things she would say. Her eyes, were just dark and alone. Like someone had turned off the light. Thinking back on it, she doesnt even remember the last time her mom had that light.
When she saw her mother, she smiled and agreed with what she said. She listened closely, and always tried to keep her mother happy. It was rough, not to discuss the pain she felt for her mother. It was hard not to ask what happened, and how to get the light back on. At this point, she didnt even know if her mother would believe her. It seemed as if her mother wasnt even there anymore. Could this be what they mean when they came up with the term zombie? There are times she just wanted to scream at her mother “just wake up”, but it seems her mother believed she was awake already.
She debated on whether it was depression, or whether that was just a term for a demon in your soul. Had something completely taken over her mother? Her mother was not evil. She did not do wrong, she just was not herself.
She understood the struggle her father had with her mother. How he tries to keep her happy, despite the daily frustration and laziness he puts up with. Some things it seems her mother even knows she does or does not do, and she does not care.
She has such a struggle when it came to her mother, but she smiles because at the end of the day, she loves her mother. She worries she will become her, and she had a struggle within daily because of it. One thing she knows, she will not put her love through what her mother did to her dad.
She did not put blame on her mother, for she does not know what she does. She worries sometimes, seeing her mother slowly slip away without realizing it. All she can do is smile and laugh with her mother, and pray she has more time left. But what good is time, if it isnt really her mother?
Had pain truly taken over her mother?