Writing & Photos

What comes natural

1free

I tried for so long to live the way people thought i should. I also sent myself into a depression over trying to be a woman i was not, for a man who didn’t really love me. It seemed that the harder i tried to be what i wasn’t, the worse i failed. Even in past jobs, doing things i really had no passion for never seemed to workout for me or the company.

It wasn’t until i accepted who I was, and believed in my goals that everything fell into place. Everyone around me, including family and friends, had an opinion that still doubted me. They wanted me to get on medicine for depression, get a 9-5 job, stick my kids in aftercare and be..well.. exactly like them.

The problem was, when i pictured my life in 10 years with their gameplan for me, how would i ever achieve what i had wanted out of life. Yes, i would get by, but would i be happy? I knew i also had anxiety, and a touch of depression, but i knew my strength and that i waa in fact better than that.

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So i planned, and yes, it took some time. There were plenty of times i told myself that i would not make it, but at the same time i always looked at the 2 different visions of what my future could be. That always made me want to push harder, and i would continue.

I went to a psychologist to make my family happy, got medicine and never took it. I continued to plan and after a few months, when i started to slowly see my plans work, that everyone told me the “medicine seemed to be working.”

As i continued to push, i saw more and more goals get checked off my list. As this happened, even bigger dreams(that i honestly thought were only dreams, and wouldnt ever happen) started to get closer to my sight. Before I knew it, i realized that anything really could be possible as long as i believed i could, tried my hardest, and left the rest to God.

I am no saint, and no one ever is. But if you put the man up above (whatever you may call him) first, and stay focused, everything always works out.

Whatever you love to do, go for it. Life is to short to hate your life, or waste it away working a job that gets you nowhere. If you just plan and never give up trying, one day it will start to pay off. No hard work goes unnoticed, and their are always people out there in the world that appreciate your passion. Its all a matter of trying, because if you never try, how will you ever know?

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Everyone who never went for there dreams, will tell you not to go for it. Even people who only half tried and gave up, will tell you that it is pointless in trying.

There might even be a point were people literally think your insane, but just keep going and continue to be you 😉
You have to appreciate life, not see it as a chore. When i started seeing things differently, everything got easier. I worked out to destress and feel good, not because it was “a daily chore.”  I found jobs in thongs i were passionate about, so work became a blessing everyday, and something i became dedicated to. I still had time for my kids for the first time in ever, and was not stressed about the future, so i could enjoy. At the same time, i also had time to work on my own personal passions and art, which i was able to start stocking up until i published them all. And overall, i enjoyed life and only saw a better tomorrow because of how hard i worked the day before.

skjfs

 

 

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